My Favorite F Word 

[00:00:00] Lauren: You’re a high octane business owner. You’ve got a team on paper. It looks like you’re rolling in success, but there’s a voice inside of you. Whisper screaming. This isn’t sustainable, something feels off and I’m gonna lose it off.

Sound familiar. That’s where I come in.[00:00:30] 

My name is Lauren Goldstein and I’m the CEO at golden key partnership. I help top level executives like you avoid burning out and burning down as you’re scaling up. How by harnessing your superpowers, finding and hiring your ideal team. And then simplifying the heck out of your business operations. That was easy.[00:01:00] 

It’s my mission. And the mission of this podcast to help you see operations in a whole new light to help you diagnose the real root cause of your company challenges and to bring your business back to a healthy flow and profit, they call me the business doctor and. Is the biz doctor podcast.[00:01:30] 

Welcome back to the show. In today’s episode, I’m gonna dive into my favorite F-word feedback and how to make it your best friend instead of your worst. Now, if you were like, I was before, the idea of feedback sent a shutter down your spine and you wanted to be anywhere, but where the feedback was, you see, I was actually a perfectionist back then.

And anything short of perfection was something I took as a personal failure, spoiler alert. That was no [00:02:00] way to live fast forward. I went through this life changing emotional intelligence leadership program. That completely changed my relationship with feedback so much so that it’s basically something I crave now.

So my goal of today’s episode is to help you shift the way you view feedback. So you too can see just how priceless and valuable an asset it can be in your life and business. So let’s start with what is feedback? I know this is gonna sound woo and maybe weird. So bear with me, but I believe now, after going through [00:02:30] my transformational process with feedback, At the end of the day, feedback is one word love.

I know I told you it would be weird and woo, but let me tell you why. I think that it’s love because someone cares about you enough to be willing, to get uncomfortable enough to tell you what is standing in the way of you being at your best, most authentic and powerful self. Now I [00:03:00] do wanna say. You know, there are times where people use feedback as a weapon, and this is not what I’m talking about.

So those people , those people probably need therapy. And in those situations, feedback is not actually feedback. It’s a manipulation tool. So again, that’s not what we’re talking about now, but when it’s feedback for improvement and again, helping someone see what’s standing in the way. [00:03:30] What’s so magical about feedback and why it works is you can’t give yourself feedback because you can’t see the way you’re showing up on the outside.

As one of my mentors, once said, you can’t read the label when you’re in the bottle. Feedback is the number one way to see how you’re showing up in the world. And what is objectively holding you back from where you ultimately wanna be. And I think that’s why I love feedback so much is because. It’s one of the only tools out there to [00:04:00] really set you on the right track.

And again, I’m not talking about feedback, that’s, you know, wielded in a mean or vindictive or manipulative way, but in a way that truly says, like, here’s where you miss are missing the mark, here’s where you’re holding yourself back. And here’s how I think you could be showing up differently. And I know for me that.

It has really honed my communication skills. It’s honed my relationships, my team dynamics. [00:04:30] Like there really isn’t an aspect of my life. That feedback hasn’t touched and when you’re open to it, it really has the ability to give you perspective that will change so many things and have a positive ripple effect because feedback is love.

But feedback is also information. One of my mentors says, take the feedback, try it on like a jacket. See if it fits. If it fits great, take it and use it, learn from it. If it doesn’t fit, let it go. Cause sometimes the way [00:05:00] other people see us is spot on and accurate. And sometimes it, you know, either doesn’t quite fit or it just might not be the right time for it.

In addition, let’s talk about when not to use feedback. Feedback is best used when someone is open to it. And when someone is open to it, it’s powerful and transformative. When someone is not open to it, it can turn into something that only cockroaches survive. Like trust me, don’t do it. [00:05:30] so the number one rule for feedback is ask permission.

Once you have permission, then you need to make sure that the person is really open to it. And isn’t emotionally charge. So I know I mentioned before about feedback being used as a weapon, um, or a manipulation tool. This can happen when the parties are emotionally charged. You know, whether a meeting went bad or project went sideways, miscommunications, et cetera, [00:06:00] that’s not the time to have a feedback conversation.

The time to have a feedback conversation is when both parties are calm and you can talk about it objectively. And I say this because sometimes as bosses, our employees think that they have no choice, but to take the feedback in the moment. And the reality is if someone is emotionally charged about something, either party, whether it’s the party, giving the feedback or getting the feedback, they won’t be open to the feedback and it might make things worse.

So I always say, take a beat and [00:06:30] make sure that all parties are in a good head space. And then I also like to ask myself when I’m giving feedback, what is the purpose of this feedback? Cause sometimes. Feedback is amazing and wonderful. And sometimes it’s not necessary. Sometimes I’ve noticed, you know, just because I’m human.

Sometimes I wanna give feedback because I wanna say that I was right versus giving feedback. That’s actually gonna help someone. So ask yourself, am I giving [00:07:00] feedback? Because I wanna prove that I was right. Or am I giving feedback? Because this is really helping someone also a disclaimer, that should go without saying, but I’m gonna say it.

Please do not use feedback on your family. Oh my gosh. If they don’t know what it is or a game for it, don’t do it because there is no sure way to start a fight. Then by giving feedback to those, we love don’t even get me started, but also, you know, just family and business, sometimes doesn’t mix. [00:07:30] And you know, if you haven’t read the four agreements, I highly recommend it.

Cuz one of them is, uh, don’t take anything personal. And as human beings personally, I’m not always great at that. I’m better at it, but there are people in our family that it doesn’t matter how good our intentions are. Somebody’s feelings are gonna get hurt or something’s gonna be taken personally. So use feedback and just be aware of why you’re giving the feedback, what the objective of the feedback [00:08:00] is, and also be wary of using it on your.

So then that leads us perfectly into when and how to use feedback. So personally, I use feedback all the time except with my family, cuz we all know how families are but my favorite place is to use feedback is in my business and with my team. So we use feedback and it’s sister acknowledgement almost daily, honestly.

So often. I know that there are some business owners out there [00:08:30] that only do yearly reviews or shy away from feedback. Personally, I think it’s a huge missed opportunity and a surefire way to have a frustrated team. I like to give feedback in real time. Again, with the caveat of real time could be 10 minutes after something happens, or it could be a day after something happens.

But I would say within 24 to 48 hours, Again, you wanna make sure all parties are emotionally available to receive it. And the reason I do that is because it’s like a plane on [00:09:00] autopilot, these little course corrections, before we get too far down the line can make a world of difference. And most importantly, make sure bad habits don’t stick because I see a lot of times where something went off the rails and it wasn’t caught soon enough.

So then that bad habit became. A permanent thing in the team that then you have to unlearn. And so if you can have a good cadence of feedback and an [00:09:30] open culture of trust and feedback, then that’s actually going to create a lot of momentum, autonomy trust within the team. It’s gonna be magic. And so now, as far as how that is really simple, you just ask, are you open to.

And then wait and see how they answer. If they answer yes, then proceed. If they answer no, then it’s an opportunity to take a beat and see why it could be timing, or it could be something else that is honestly a red [00:10:00] flag that you should be paying attention to. If you have people in your business or your team who are not open to feedback, or you feel like anytime you try to broach a feedback conversation, it goes sideways or is volatile.

You know, noses get outta joint. Then that’s a red flag because at the end of the day, feedback is just information it’s vital information to grow and do better. And those two characteristics are key to having a high performing team. So notice who is, or [00:10:30] isn’t open to feedback, that’s going to be a very good indicator of who’s actually willing to grow with the business.

That’s it for this week’s episode, I wanted to keep it short and sweet, but feedback really is one of my very favorite things to integrate into teams and business and life. It really will transform relationships, transform businesses, transform teams when used in the right way for the right reasons. So I’d love to [00:11:00] hear from you and your biggest takeaways and how implementing this into your business has changed things.

Make sure you’re following along. Tag me on Instagram. It’s Lauren Goldstein or LinkedIn, or wherever you hang out on the inter web. Thanks so much for listening and we’ll see you next week.

Thanks for listening to the biz doctor podcast. You’re probably [00:11:30] wondering what your next steps are. Hmm. So here are some options for you.

No matter what, head to the show notes are to my website@goldenkeypartnership.com. That’s real fine. Two awesome business resources to help you unlock your team and your business. Plus more information about stepping into the C-suite with me and my team. The C-suite is the only container of its kind for entrepreneurs.

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After that our diagnostic deep dive might just be what the doctor ordered this deep dive will help us identify what is really holding you and your business back from more profitability impact and sustainable growth. [00:12:30] All that info is on. site@goldenkeypartnership.com. I’d also love to connect with you on LinkedIn.

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